Shutting Down The Demons
By Pat Bowen
Patrick Bowen is a veteran
marketing and sales professional with over 20 years experience developing
strategies for key account and market penetration. He has held a variety of
management roles dealing in business to business marketing of highly
technical products from diverse industries. Pat currently works as an
independent consultant to small and medium sized companies to organize,
motivate, and expand their business and profit potentials. He has also
served as a Sysop on CompuServe's Career Management Forum where he offered
advice and encouragement on conducting effective job
searches.
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Introduction
When faced with a downsizing that has
impacted your life and family, conditions are perfect for raging demons of
self-doubt. There is a strong desire to fix the past and a tendency to look
backwards dwelling on what could have been done to have changed the
outcome. This thinking feeds itself with all of the negatives and flaws,
both real and imagined, in an attempt to reconcile the reality . . . you
are out of a job.
These demons are persistent and demand
more and more time until eventually a sort of paralysis sets in. Regardless
of your activity level, if you are gripped by self-doubt you are not being
effective. The demons will speak for you through your body language, your
presentation, your enthusiasm. It need not be.
You can take back control and turn
toward your future. The future is the only thing that you can influence. To
do it, you must get and remain motivated.
Ten Ways to Get and Remain
Motivated
Mourn the loss:
You may think of mourning as a
negative concept. Why then is mourning job loss necessary in order to get
motivated?
Civilizations since time began have
allowed for mourning of loss. It is a special period set aside to cleanse
the spirit and bring closure. The secret is in limiting the
time.
Choose a period of time and give
yourself permission to feel badly about the loss of your job. Gather with
friends and family to reflect on the way things were. Examine the good
times. Know that they will come again in different form. At the end of
your mourning period, close the door on the past. It has no value other
than helping define your starting place.
Ask for help:
People are a critical part of
getting motivated. I don't know of a single person who stands well or
long on his own. To varying degrees, we all need to be propped and
possibly prodded by others to realize our worth and maximize our
effectiveness.
Plan for six direct person to person
connections a day, minimum. Others provide a mirror in which we examine
ourselves and a helping hand when the load becomes too much to bear.
Suggestions on resumes, contacts and referrals, encouragement and hope,
critique, validation and coaching are but a few things that you can ask
for.
For many, this is a huge hurdle to
cross in a society that puts a premium on independence. However,
independence in a job search can lead to isolation and total breakdown of
motivation. I can not emphasize enough the value of a good support
network. You must ask and not once but often.
You will find the assistance of
others to be uplifting and when you receive, be grateful. It reinforces
your own worth and self confidence and is a major component in staying
motivated.
Make a decision:
Decisions are invigorating. Think to
the time of your last major purchase and what it felt like the instant
that you signed on the line. There was a natural tension released in an
instant and a rush of good feeling. All doubt was removed. Suddenly
things were concrete and real. You saw things in a new light and
experienced closure.
Apply this to your attitude, your
planning schedule, your relationships, your job search. You will find
that you really are empowered. No one can take that away from you. You
have the power to decide how you feel today and you have the power to
decide to pursue your own motivation.
Develop positive "touch
points":
By "touch point", I am referring to
places, persons and things that result in instant recall of positive
feelings. What/who makes you feel good about yourself?
One possible touch point may be a
list of your greatest strengths, recognitions and accomplishments. Tape
the list to a place you go frequently during the day, your mirror or
refrigerator. Refer to it often. Pause for a minute on one specific item.
You are conducting positive reinforcement and preparing for the interview
where you can recall each of these attributes instantly.
Another may be a trusted friend or
confidant, that you respect and whom you know will provide honest input
or a caring ear.
Establish a plan:
Action without direction is wasted.
It gives the illusion of progress but is transitory. One can easily find
themselves back at the starting point with significant and unrecoverable
time expended. Unless you know in advance where you are going, you can't
really know when you are there.
It is much better to create a clear
objective for your job search, that is a beginning and an end. With those
two points as reference, one can strike intermediate points which will
lead to the goal. You can measure progress in meaningful milestones and
add these to your list of accomplishments to review daily.
Visualize the result:
Use positive imaging and mental
pictures to create a sense of hope and outcome. See yourself accepting
the new job, managing the project, enjoying the vacation on the income
you've earned, learning and doing something interesting and stimulating.
See yourself as successful in your job search or career and you will find
ways to satisfy that desire.
Imaging is a powerful tool for
self-realization. If you can not imagine it, the odds are astronomical
for you to achieve it. Whereas, an active and vibrant imagination can
release the creative juices to find ways over, under, around or through
any obstacle in your way. It also places everything that you do or say in
a structure and context. This is helpful for keeping a clear sense of
direction and purpose in your job search.
Achieve one goal:
Avoid trying to accomplish too many
things at one time. Develop your action plan in accordance with your
strategy, set priorities, partition the time available and concentrate on
bringing each action to conclusion before going on to the next. It is
better to complete one action than to spread yourself so thin that there
is no measurable progress. The later is a formula for frustration and
discouragement.
You will find there is an instant
gratification from completion of each activity. Each one is a victory in
your search for that ideal job. You will begin to develop a pattern that
works for you. Continued and persistent application to the task will
yield results. It is simply a matter of time.
Of all of the people I have known,
the ones with the least time between positions have been those who were
tireless in their pursuit. They were also the happiest and least likely
to have wide emotional swings because they were in constant contact with
others. They worked and used their networks most effectively.
Celebrate your success:
What do you really enjoy? Set aside
break points in the action and create a diversion. Promise your self a
reward for that important milestone in your search. When you complete
your resume, go to a movie. When you've completed your six networking
contacts for the day, take time for a walk, play a round of golf, or call
a close friend to chat and tell them about your progress.
Rewards do not have to be
extravagant. They can be as simple as time out to finish another chapter
in that book you have been trying to read. When you do reward yourself
make sure that you take the time to say to yourself, "I earned this
because I did such a good job in.... (fill in the blank.)"
The point is, reward yourself. Plan
incentives and payoffs for a job well done or a major accomplishment.
Tape the reward to a visible place or write it in your day planner as a
reminder of a promise to be kept. Keeping promises to yourself is as
important to your health, well-being and motivation as keeping promises
to others.
Give of yourself:
One of the best ways to feel good
about yourself and keep motivated is to become involved with others.
Volunteer organizations are always short of staff and in need of helping
hands. You will feel good knowing that your efforts are going to benefit
someone else in need. It will remind you of the gifts that you have and
help you to be thankful.
A side benefit of volunteering is
that these organizations can be a good place to network. Many companies
encourage their executives and employees to provide volunteer service.
When working with someone in a service capacity, there are no gatekeepers
and access is relatively free. Being outside of the workplace provides a
neutral territory where all sorts of issues and questions can be
explored.
Visit a friend; spend time with your
spouse or children; call an elderly neighbor. That you have more time
available, is an opportunity to experience things that may not be
possible in the same way when you are working.
Spend time in reflection:
Take time out at regular intervals
to evaluate where you are, where you have been and where you are going.
Whether your time out is spent in meditation, prayer, quiet time alone,
or simply daydreaming, the effect is the same regardless of the form.
Endorphins are released in response, and a general feeling of euphoria
and well being lifts your spirit.
Reflection and introspection have
the benefit of bringing all of the events of your life into focus. It
helps to establish real priorities from phony ones and plants your feet
on solid ground.
Summary
Staying motivated can be a struggle
under the best of circumstance. It is even more of a challenge when out of
work. Make use of all of the resources available to you so that you can
approach every day with the energy and vitality to sustain your job search
and return to work as quickly as possible.
Patrick Bowen welcomes your comments
about this article. Contact Pat at: pmbowen@key-net.net
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